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Mutya Keisha Siobhan – Flatline


The memory of this one is still a little painful. I was so convinced this was going to be a no.1 smash that it upsets me to have to include it here. I reviewed Flatline for another site back in 2013, and described it thus:  “It is wonderful – and definitely the best single ever made by two surly girls who look handy in a fight and one who tends to bolt at the first sign of trouble.”

Readers, I stand by those words today. And while Siobhan doesn’t seem to have bolted yet – although honestly, who could tell at this point – things do seem to be taking a while to get going in the MKS camp. The thing that gets me – will always get me – is the combination of these three’s voices. Individually they’re fine, but together they just become something else entirely. Add in the devastating lyric “I can feel the flatline, that oughta be a wave” (it sounds better when sung) and the nation’s pop buyers ought to have downloaded this in droves.

There, perhaps, lies the problem. Flatline was doing the rounds months before its release, and I strongly suspect an awful lot of people weren’t prepared to wait. And then they went and released it on a Friday, meaning a low initial chart position and the loss of all momentum (the same thing happened to Kylie‘s Timebomb.) The video was problematic too. In my original review I envisaged “the girls speeding around Stockholm in the back of open-topped sports cars at midnight” which would have been amazing, obviously – but what we got was the girls looking like they were enjoying themselves on beaches and in deserts, though they did at least get the car bit right. Basically, the entire thing was a massive cock up and it’s to Siobhan’s credit that she didn’t vault out the nearest toilet window.

I doubt Flatline will even make onto the album now, should it ever surface. What a terrible shame.


Entered chart: 14/09/2013

Chart peak: 50

Weeks on chart: 2

Who could sing this today and make it a hit? Mutya, Keisha, Siobhan & Heidi.

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