Look, we can argue about whether this is technically a hit or not until the cows come home but it might just be THE GREATEST CHRISTMAS RECORD EVER. So, um, there.
Because nothing says "feel good" like a dose of Apocalypse Pop.
Amazing pop stars at the top of their game in not-disappointing-in-the-slightest collaboration shocker! It can only be Cyndi Lauper and the Bangles.
Echoes of an era with the best person to come out of Glee.
The best wintry ballad of the decade.
Who's for some Vick's and lemon gin?
Oh my darling, look my way.
Where do Brücken hearts go? The bargain bin, sadly.
Not that Love Hangover. The other Love Hangover.
In which Gloria Estefan hitches a ride with Pharrell Williams, unfortunately just before he fitted new wheels on his wagon.
Stewart on the Revenge Release: artist left your label for pastures new? Just plunder their back catalogue.
Dolly! Dolly! Dolly!
Pop: one of the few career choices where quitting early can actually do you a favour.
In which we look at Pompous Pop and habitual doorway-leaners When in Rome.
My beautiful dark twisted fantasy of four top ten hits from a Brandon Flowers album.
"DanceMusicSexRomance" - it's Dan's go-to Prince tune (and also his to-do list for Saturday nights).
Never be the Next Big Thing.
Do something else. Do my eyebrows.
Work hard, do good things and all your dreams will come true: not strictly the case when you're a pop star in this day and age.
1999: Pet Shop Boys and Kylie Minogue finally get together, create stunningly beautiful song, world shrugs. That's the brutality of pop for you.