Or: How I Learned to Stop Fearing Martians and Love Synthesisers.
She's the finest British pop star of the 21st century who keeps releasing amazing records. We're the people who don't buy enough of them and therefore we don't deserve to have nice things. Bingo! State of the charts these days EXPLAINED.
In the scramble for limited chart spaces someone always gets left behind - so while their contemporaries raced ahead, Fruits of Passion never really got off the starting blocks. Which is, as we shall see, a massive shame.
Fun fact! This was probably the song that started off the whole Into the Popvoid concept. I've been bitter about Turn it Into Love's non-single status for 28 years.
Joe Rivers on a cracking bit of pop that is very much built for the age we live in.
Every chirpy pop star must at some point become a Frowning Concept (thank you Neil Tennant for that phrase), and Gina G's turn came with this lovely dreamy ballad. Note also cut-price version of Kylie's "Put Yourself in My Place" video.
Brilliant song, amazing video, but Gwen Stefani can't get a hit single. Are those pesky "isms" to blame? Dan Poliak investigates.
They may have been label-mates with Duran Duran, but while Le Bon and co. jetted off to tropical climes for their videos, Talk Talk got a Super Saver to Halifax. Amazing.
In which bubbly pop princess Debbie Gibson attempts to grow up a bit and is roundly rejected because we are all TERRIBLE PEOPLE.
One of those bands that made you feel a bit clever for liking them, Red Box made a classic debut album which flopped terribly - and, as it turns out, quite unnecessarily. Thanks, record label types!
Britney's Femme Fatale era: it was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Here's the best bit.
In which Kate Bush makes us all want to tuck into a bowl of Fruit 'n Fibre with our BARE HANDS.
30 years may have passed, but I'm pretty certain I could say "everybody Wang Chung tonight" out loud and most people would know what I was talking about. Right?
1981 and 1982 - are they the MOST EXCITING years in pop? Spoiler: yes, yes they are.
Lily Allen - the pop star so amazing we'd have had to invent her if she didn't already exist. Here's Joe Anderton on the frankly brilliant "URL Badman".
1981: a fresh faced young man from the west coast arrives in New York city and heads straight for the nearest record shop.
In which Belle and Sebastian turn into Dollar for four perfect minutes.
Not many bands really get better with age, but a-ha managed it.
In which we ask the question: why did nobody admit to liking Matt Bianco at the time, when they were in fact dead good?
Quite how we've got this far without covering one of pop's most successful guiding lights is beyond me, but here she is, finally: the irresistible Cathy Dennis!