Don't bore us, get to the Frazier Chorus.
Alphabeat exerted a certain fascination on the British public in 2008 - for precisely three singles. The fourth, annoyingly, was AMAZING.
Stewart writes about embracing the new, as long as it sounds a bit old.
Pop: one of the few career choices where quitting early can actually do you a favour.
In which we look at Pompous Pop and habitual doorway-leaners When in Rome.
A fun discussion when ABBA fans get together is "what singles would YOU have chosen from 'Voulez Vous'?" Before you know it 37 years will have passed and no consensus will have been reached.
In the scramble for limited chart spaces someone always gets left behind - so while their contemporaries raced ahead, Fruits of Passion never really got off the starting blocks. Which is, as we shall see, a massive shame.
They may have been label-mates with Duran Duran, but while Le Bon and co. jetted off to tropical climes for their videos, Talk Talk got a Super Saver to Halifax. Amazing.
Hey? What did I hear you say? Yes, you're right. The Blow Monkeys were indeed amazing.
1981 and 1982 - are they the MOST EXCITING years in pop? Spoiler: yes, yes they are.
1981: a fresh faced young man from the west coast arrives in New York city and heads straight for the nearest record shop.
In which Belle and Sebastian turn into Dollar for four perfect minutes.
Not many bands really get better with age, but a-ha managed it.
In which we ask the question: why did nobody admit to liking Matt Bianco at the time, when they were in fact dead good?
From the file marked "Bands we never quite got round to buying even though they were dead good" - it's the amazing Dubstar.
California, here we come.